So what...I am a Daddy's girl

I am a bad daughter.

Sometimes I feel like a bad daughter...a REALLY BAD DAUGHTHER.

I love mom and I have to say that cute little Shriner man is growing on me...but I am still a bad daughter.

Most daughters would be happy that their mom had found a nice man to take care of her...and to some extent I am...but at the same time I feel invaded...irritated and just generally crabby.

It could be that after a few months of this dating craziness I am starting to really miss my dad...he was funny...I mean really funny....and he could make anyone love him the minute they met him...a Scottish Expat to the core..he had a wicked sense of humor, was notoriously cheap, loved really good single malt scotch and made each of my friends feel that family.

Don't get me wrong...he was not perfect.....he could carry grudge like only the best Scot could...and don't you dare cross him because that would simmer within him forever....and as a father he could be tough. It is safe to say that in the era of amazing punk rock and new wave hair that neither my sister or I would have ever died our hair purple (he threatened to have it off as we slept) and all prospective boyfriends did endure the third degree. But for some reason, he was always forgiven when he would drive by the post-Friday football game party and make both my sister Carin and me come up to the car to check in. For all his wacky dad-ness...he was very popular with everyone adults and teenagers alike.

When my dad became sick, I moved back home to help Gina take care of him. This was a bit of a rough transition for all three of us...but in retrospect, well worth it...I was really able to enjoy my dad...really enjoy him. I was able to learn more about him from his friends that came to visit and we would reminisce about all the crazy dad things he did while I was growing up. We would spend countless afternoons just watching that Law and Order episode and we would talk about the best way to deal with Gina when he was gone...to this day...one episode of Matlock makes me think of Andy...the day he died was truly the worst day of my life (so far).

I am finding myself to be a Daddy's girl after all. I am stubborn...and do not forgive easily either. Single Malt is good, especially for a cold, and I am told that I am a funny girl....so...

Fast forward three years to Gina and cute little Shriner man..does he need to be like my dad for me to be happy for them...no I don't think so...he is funny..but is more a fan of Star Trek then Law and Order...he is a fan of double malt scotch (we can make exceptions) and he is extremely generous....he is a good catch for a good woman....so why am I a bad daughter...

Because.....they have decided to get MARRIED and that freaks me out!

Safe to say I am a bit conflicted at this point....if you had asked me a few months ago if Gina would have agreed.. I would have had to say absolutely not...so what changed? I really don't know...was it the aliens, the pod people...anyone's guess....but I wonder.....

What would Matlock say.......

When is a gift just a gift or can it mean more?

Growing up as a Muir girl was not always easy. In fact, the rules of the house pretty much read like Emily Post's guide on manners. There was charm school for Andrea, modeling school for Carin ( she needed help in being a girl, me I was just un-charming I guess), Cotillion for both of us and a whole host of other programs designed to teach us manners and appropriate decorum. I can enter and exit a car without giving anyone a "show"...I can be gracious in dealing with just about anyone and I know when to accept a gift from a boyfriend...or at least I thought I did....so imagine how perplexed I was when cute little Shriner man gifted a very large diamond to Gina. Remember that for the past year, Gina has been running at a very fast rate from cute little Shriner man and gifts were definitely not encouraged.

What I am not very good at is reading Gina and her body language so initially I was not sure how she felt about the diamond necklace. I read unsure...embarrassed...kind of excited...a whole host of reactions...now I must admit that this type of gift would not have been encouraged were it given to one of the Muir girls...

Fast forward three days and a trip to the mall....and what do I see...the matching bracelet around her lovely wrist.... so...again I have to wonder...when is a gift just a gift or does it mean more......

What would Emily Post say about this.......well according to her blog in February, she recommends a more simple approach to gifts..one that would express your feelings, but not impart something more...and this is one etiquette dilemma most single women would like to have. http://www.etiquettedaily.com/

Further research did not reveal much in the way of gift giving...Gift Giving and Receiving Etiquette by Kathy Burns-Maynard states that gift givers just want you to be happy and satisfied with their gift....that it is how you acknowledge the gift that is most important and that in remembering the basics of gift giving and receiving you will display your sincerity without insulting. Good advice.

But, when is a gift just a gift...or can it mean more. To me, a gift is a meant to show how you care about someone else. Gift giving is an art...one that takes thought and love...a special sense of what the person loves and will make them happy. In most cases, a gift is just a gift...a lovely thoughtful expression of your love for another (even platonic friends need love)...can it mean more...sure..it can mean many things...and it can demonstrate to the world a committment to another...

What lovely gifts cute little Shriner Man gave to Gina...a demonstration of his admiration and devotion to her...a wonderful thought and of course she was gracious and thoughtful in her acknowledgment. The gifts frame her neck and wrist and remind her that he cares...that she is important and he wants to make her happy.....I agree with Emily Post...most single women would feel lucky to be in this position.....

So a gift is just a gift AND it can mean more.....way to go Gina ...now......about those new earrings....

Is this couple really different from other couples?

Now is the winter of our season..is that a song? I really don't know, but for some reason that phrase keeps going through my head. What does that mean really...that we are in the end days of our life and looking towards the light? I hope not. I hope it means that no matter how old you are, life ebbs and flows and right before it gets better...it is darkest....the winter of that season...

Hopeless romantic?? Maybe?

This is kind of how I see the current situation with Gina and her cute little Shriner Man...a time that was dark for both of them and is now moving forward to a spring awakening. I am happy for them, but at the same time somewhat apprehensive. Unfortunately, my close friends have not been in this situation before...so where does one go to seek advice on "how to deal"????

What I have determined is that a google search does, as one might think, have a plethora of advice out there..join with me as we explore the wide and wacky world of parents dating.

Cougar Hunting 101: The Ultimate Guide to Dating Older Women (and having a blast doing it)

Disturbing I know....but they do offer some good tips on how to bag the older babe....

1) Know your goals: this will help you choose the right cougar

2) Do your research:

3) Know how to please a woman......WAIT this is my mom we are talking about!

4) Use a.......

okay movin on....let's face it....Gina might be a cougar..but cute little Shriner Man would not exactly be considered a pup....

Dating and the Elderly

Closer I suppose...

1) Most seniors are not looking to "Shack up"

Yikes I am sensing a theme here.......movin on

Dating Advice for Men and Women

1) How to say I Love you in 100 Ways

2) Dating and Seducation Tips for Women

ahhhh...keep on movin on

Okay...so what have we learned here? Probably more then I would have liked....but I certainly can see that a persons age is just a number and that dating rules seem to be the same for all...so... Is now the winter of our season......more like April Showers bring May flowers... good grief...movin on.....