Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Encore...Encore....






I have calmed down..a bit.

2010 seems to be the year of the wedding. I knew that I would be going to ALOT of weddings this year, but never in a million years did I think one of them would be my mothers.....

A friend of mine recently mentioned that I am Steve Martin in Father of the Bride (I and II)..yikes! I think he might be right! So I have decided to embrace the wedding and the happy couple. I may not have mentioned this before, but my family stays married.....both sets of my grandparents were married for over 55 years, my parents for 45....we don't move either. I guess you could say...we like roots....deep....engrained roots.....so this whole second marriage is a bit perplexing.

Now if any of you know Gina, you know that she is a party planner....she loves a party...but she is also a pillar of decorum and good behavior..so questions run through my mind....

1) Will she have a big wedding
2) Will there be attendants
3) What about gifts
4) As the daughter, would I have to throw her a shower
5) What is the appropriate way to do an Encore Wedding

I think I might have mentioned that I am not good at reading my mom and it is safe to say that I am really not good at reading cute little Shriner Man. My initial thought would have been a small wedding, maybe a destination wedding...followed by a larger gathering of their Shrine friends at their mountain retreat. I can assure you...this is not the plan. Last count there were 150 guests and an equally large reception. Yup! That Gina loves a party....

There are times when I wish that my mom and I had a different relationship. One that is more friend like, but we are definitely not there. For one thing, we are very different in our approach to things, so it is unlikely that we are going to see eye to eye on many of the details for this wedding. Should you find yourself in a similar situation, might I suggest...hire a Wedding Planner!

This took a bit of convincing for Gina, but this has turned out to be a fabulous plan. Enter Kate...she has been able to steer the happy couple in a targeted direction, offer suggestions that are readily accepted and she has them on the path for a great day. I realize that not everyone has a Kate...so I thought I would share a few things that I learned about the Encore Wedding:

First, according to Intimate Weddings, all rules for second wedding have gone out the window. It is okay for the bride to wear white, for the ceremony to be large and for gifts to be given.
http://www.intimateweddings.com/blog/second-marriage-wedding-rules-have-changed-for-encore-brides/comment-page-1/#comment-11760.

This seems to be echoed in other articles as well. Social Etiquette offered some great suggestions on the dress. Such as a floor length sheath or designer dress or a suit in any color. Gift giving, while not required, can be fun when packaged with a lifestyle the couple has like travel or the mountains. They even have some great advice on how to word the wedding vows.
http://en.allexperts.com/q/Social-Etiquette-Good-2570/wedding-vow-renewal-etiquette.htm

Does the bride get a Shower? You Bet! But not in the traditional sense. How about a re-stock the bar shower where guests bring barware, glasses or their favorite bottle of liqour. Now this I can get behind! I only have more question....

Do you think they will let me be the flower girl?